5 am brings ambition.

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Emily Hinman to paul.lundblad

show details 5:06 AM (20 hours ago)

Dear Paul,

Hello! I hope that you are doing well, first off. I hope that you are having a good season and will have a wonderful new year. I know that this may be completely unprofessional of me to write an email like this, but..I'm not looking to be professional, I suppose this is just a calling on my life, and to not respond to it would be disobeying God. Let me prerequisite this letter by telling you I'm a Philosophy undergrad at Ball State University in Muncie, IN. That's really not important, but I want you to know I'm actually studying Philosophy..Ihave been listening to RZIM since I was very young as my dad used to play the recordings over Moody Radio on the way to church. Ever since I was little I was enthralled with asking questions, whatever I could analyze to the core, I would. I, at some point, as a result became really fascinated with RZIM's ministry. I completely agree with Ravi when he says "What I believe in my heart must also make sense in my mind" and see that there are so many opportunities where I can learn more and gain more wisdom in this world to only increase my ministry that much more. How can I approach those with a background I'm so unfamiliar with? How can I love the unloved and unapproachable without being loving and able to be approached? but at the same time I believe if my wisdom is rooted in God I am not persuaded by these ideals and philosophies, I don't need them to talk to these people, but I think it does help. Anyway, for a long time I've just been coming to the RZIM website to pray. To listen to the messages online and to just meditate on what Scripture has laid out for me to do in life basically..and I feel the Spirit so strongly (and I'm such a logic, level headed person, so this doesn't come to often) but I feel God so strongly when I go over this ministry. I am so greatful for everyone God has in this team because they've all played a part in some way to touch the masses across the whole world. I didn't start this email with an objective goal, I just knew that God has been putting this ministry on my heart for a long time..and Just recently I came back to the website to find that there are internship opportunities. I am seriously overjoyed. Know that in the next semester's months I will be sending in my application with much prayer and much preparation. One of the struggles I've always had has been being a prestigious student, I've strove for good grades since the day I entered college but never have gotten above a 3.0 grade point average, I've tried to make up for it by being distinguishable in any other area I could be. I went overseas and went to five other countries and learned other cultures, I'm president of my school's Philosophy club, I have joined book clubs, attended all sorts of meetings, and enjoy Apologetics to the core. But none of those works have ever merited me anything if they weren't based on furthering His kingdom, they're just copied deeds of this earth that try to get you somewhere in life, when life is temporary, and my site is eternal. I don't mind not having a prestigious career or having the American dream, or even having money in my pockets when I die. But I do know that I will be the poorest girl on earth, if I haven't served the purpose God has for my life..of helping the insecure preaching of Christianity, where we build castles in the sky off of our emotions because we don't want to ask the bigger questions, where we believe God is indifferent to us and doesn't want to know our concerns or questions. I think RZIM agrees with me when I say, my God is not like that. I'm not trying to gain any sort of appeal to you to accept my application later on, or even to you as a person, know this. I just know that most of my life is a blur until God shows me whats ahead..or until i decide to listen, and I can see myself in this ministry if one day considered. As a personal request, I just ask that you would prayerfully see me through this, and reassure that this is not just on my heart and head, but that it is also God's will and I'm not lead astray by selfish desire.

Thank you for your time,

God bless you with the gift of Jesus Christ, (because He did, and He does, and He will),

Emily Hinman

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Paul Lundblad to me

show details 10:28 AM (14 hours ago)

Dear Emily,

Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I am truly moved by your letter and request. May God bless you exceptionally well during these days as you honor Him.

Please allow me some time to consider a more thorough response. It may be the first days of 2010 before I am able to do this.

Meanwhile, I'll pray that you have a wonderful New Years weekend and wonderful new year.

Thank you for writing, your interest in our ministry, and most of all for your love for God. I pray that He will lead you step by step throughout the coming days and you will continue to have joy and peace, knowing that He loves you so much.

In Christ,

Paul

Paul D. Lundblad
Vice President, International Affairs
paul.lundblad@rzim.org
Main: (770) 810-4216
Fax: (770) 810-4215
	www.rzim.org	Office (770) 449-6766
	4725 Peachtree Corners Circle Suite 250
	Norcross, GA 30092

---

From: Emily Hinman [mailto:spellboundphilosophy@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 5:07 AM
To: Paul Lundblad
Subject: Internship

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this is where I started this blog, and all the previous ones are ones I have written on the course of finding out I could go to Liverpool, preparing for England, being in England, and now I am home.

I think this requires a new start, and I got tired of how tumblr was more of an artsy and media blog than an actual blog...to risk sounding like the biggest hipster of all. I think this is better, because people write more words here instead of just posting other peoples pictures, music, or one liners. Thats all well and good..but I think that we recycle words too much already, we recycle art too much already too because we think everything creative has already been done. But obviously it hasn't. This world needs more words, influential ones. I didn't say regurgitated or recycled words, ..i meant words with power, words trying to converse in dialectical form, a conversation between the creation and created, trying to make sense of where we are and how we got there, and where we should be.

I'm home.

I still can't believe it.

I don't think the transition is going very well. Not because I miss Liverpool, I do..but not because of that. just because as soon as I got home I felt so shocked and misplaced. And yet life goes on. with or without me. I don't feel like my family really cares to know or wants to know about me or my time, only the things that will be interesting to them..which is fine,..I can't answer broad questions like "how was england!" or "did you have a good time?" as if I was only there for a day. I thinkI do better with specifics..yet no one cares enough to ask specifics. When I think people don't care, or when I think people are faking their enthusiasm towards me, it makes me not want to talk at all. Needless to say, I'vebeen very quiet. It's not my familys fault, or anyones in particular, its a personality clash. I just feel so out of place at home, but I'm too stubborn, and my family is too stubborn to change. It's dna at its finest. I just can't stand ..ingenuinity. and I feel like theres so much of it around here to try and please everyone.

anyway. its Christmas eve today. I feel as though everyone I love is celebrating this holiday spread out across the earth, everyone I love is in a different place now..I like that. Screw the stereotype of being together, because we can love each other from this far away just the same. :)

I shouldn't be complaining about my family or transition right now when at least I got the opportunity and some people can't even afford to be together on Christmas or have a Christmas. Its so much more than that though, because if Christmas were just about getting together...I probably wouldn't be excited about it at all. But its the concept to verify that at least once a year people entertain the existence of God. If all else, thats what I'm greatful for..maybe they entertain that there isn't one or that their might be..but at least the thought is there, at least that much..

Wed, Dec 16 09

Emily Hinman is home from studying abroad in Liverpool. She called me. I missed it. I am bummed.

still love you with my whole heart :)

reblogged from :Jordan

Tues Dec 8, 09

Its only adequate to speak about love when in love

its only adequate to be, when you are

Sat Dec 5, 09

via lilitu

Mon Nov 30, 09

via kristintastic

Fri Nov 27, 09

Religion is the dream of the human mind. But even in dreams we do not find ourselves in the emptiness or in heaven, but on earth, in the realm of reality; we only see real things in the entrancing splendour of imagination and caprice, instead of in the simple daylight of reality and necessity. Hence I do nothing more to religion- and to speculative philosophy and theology also- than to open its eyes, or rather turn its gaze from the internal towards the external i.e. I change the object as it is in the imagination into the object as it is in reality.

-Feurerbach