Thurs Sept 10, 09

its weird. i’m 21. every single year you take one day out to just re-evaluate all the previous years. and maybe you’ll feel justified if you’ve grown, or guilty because you’ve stayed the same. Either way, it’s assured, time is going. It is not on your side, nor is it cruel. It is fair because it was always was, we’re just the ones who noticed it too late. Sometimes its nice to take a step back from the counting and just be. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you are, you’re human, and you notice it. The only thing that is bigger than the luggage i have right now are my thoughts the past few days, and its a strange and sincere thing that I can carry them across the sea and not worry about them getting lost or stolen. Whatever mundane, heavy, intelligent or unindividual thought i have right now, i cherish because its for right now and not tomorrow or the next day, its appropriate because i made it,and it will change out of necessity. I can’t stay this way forever, but i can stay this way right now. It’s kind of sad to think about by the time you blink your eyes, and again, the world is already so old. you look at stars that reflected years ago, but to us its original everyday.I hope that I’m just an older version of what i’ll be. that years from now i’ll be beautiful in radiating glory, and today will just be a mere cascasing elipse of the light to come.